Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize