Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
