The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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