please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
