wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
