She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize