Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I love black thongs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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