now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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