If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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