Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize