What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
