Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
