I need help removing her.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
