so explain again why im purple
no
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
