jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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