I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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