garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
