Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
