Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
