ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize