i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
