i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
