He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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