how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
