Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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