when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
