i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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