So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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