some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
