There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
