He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
