i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
