I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We have started to decorate penises.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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