Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
