Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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