North Korea, Best Korea!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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