At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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