That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
