We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
