hell yes lets make some ravioli
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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