Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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