It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
