my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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