Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
