I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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