so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
