Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
