Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
