You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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