I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize