Just cropdusted the office
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Found the puke drawer
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
