Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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