Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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