i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
