i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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