Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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