return my video game
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
