you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
