I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
