Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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