I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
