I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
