so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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