all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize