I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
