so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
