I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Will exercising make me less horny?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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