1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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