after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
