She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
