I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
