Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize