I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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