You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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