Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
