When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
