I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
