been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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