Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
