Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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