Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
