Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
